Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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