hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
