What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
