i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
