we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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