While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
