I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
