we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
being pregnant is like rehab
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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