I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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