The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
