y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
