I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
