Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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