wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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