It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
