There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
