census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I understand Curling. That high.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
