Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
