More tranny stories later!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
