He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He passed out mid-signature
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
