nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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