and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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