Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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