Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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