I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
