Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize