Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
