Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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