I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
please don't ironically join a cult
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