my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
