Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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