im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
my poor anus
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
FUCK WHALES
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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