Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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