i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
