The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
