just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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