Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
