i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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