he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Small penises have feelings too.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
