Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He better not be in your backpack
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
