i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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