We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
