If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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