they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
