I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
