Where is the hickey?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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