In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
