just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
