screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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