I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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